Archive for » October, 2008 «

Tuesday, October 28th, 2008 | Author:

On Thanksgiving, Levi Stubbs’ oven broke.
What did he say to his next door neighbor?

Baby, I need your Oven.
(GOT to have all of your oven.)

I’m sorry.

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Monday, October 27th, 2008 | Author:

For Halloween, do not risk letting your children go to any of the 13 Homes of John McCain.

You risk having your children open the door to this:

Cindy McCain Claims She’s Just Like Any Other Female Human

Category: Opinion  | Tags: ,  | Leave a Comment
Wednesday, October 22nd, 2008 | Author:

I love the movie Eraserhead.
If you love Eraserhead there is a high chance that you and I would become great friends or lovers.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, watch this portion of the movie.

In 2001, I was experimenting with Actionscript making games using Flash and decided to create a game as an homage to the movie Eraserhead.

Play the Game!

Instructions on how to Play:

Tuesday, October 21st, 2008 | Author:

Its easy to go about your day without any regard to the small creatures all around us; to go about your humdrum existence and worries about the economy, love and sausages.

But there’s always something that makes me stop dead in my tracks and spark my curiosity and wonder about this world. Thoughts about how magical and beautiful the world can be, like that stupid guy who films dancing plastic bags in the movie American Beauty. ”

And that something is..

Spiders.

Now that we’ve scared away the girls…

They’re just amazing!

If I have the time, I enjoy sitting for a half-hour and watching a spider perform the architectural marvel of creating a web.

If you’re lucky, you’ll see a morning dew encrusted web. When the morning sun hits it right its simply brilliant.

I wonder how they ever developed this design.
Do they realize how brilliant and intricate it is?
How could they be aware of redundancy and if it is structurally sound?
How could they possibly evolve this talent?
Did somehow some pre-arachnid shoot out some sticky snot that food got caught in?
Why didn’t humans evolve web making abilities because I shoot out lots sticky stuff?

Often, after sharing my time with the spider, I come back home and chastise the daddylong legs I see living in the basement.

I say, “Go outside and look it what your arachnid brothers are doing! You need to get your act together instead of these slapdash webs you be shooting out!”
Usually they try and vibrate fast on their so-called webs to avoid me, thinking I can’t see the thin-legged bums. Oh, I see them!

Even under the influence of drugs, spiders manage to get a web going (even if slightly more creative than usual).

AND STILL better than a daddy long leg’s web!
Although who knows what happens with long term spider drug abuse.

I’ve become slightly obsessed over this flash-based spider game called “Arachnophilia” where the programmer manages to somewhat realistically simulate the life of a spider. You build your own spider web (using whatever design you want) and you collect bugs, birds and bats. Its very challenging, but you eventually figure out that the marijuana influenced web design is not the best.

I still find them amazing even after being bitten by one. My several weeks of uncontrollable spewing pus has only deepened my admiration for them.

Maybe instead of spiders I should be like that creepy American Beauty guy and find beauty in trash that blows in the wind. After all, the creepy guy gets the girl in the movie.

All I’ve done here is give nightmares to women and bought myself more nights of loneliness.

But I don’t care.

They’re just too damn amazing.

Especially when I whack at them with a tennis racket, stomp on its body and watch it die in its own juices.

Category: Opinion  | Tags: ,  | Leave a Comment
Wednesday, October 15th, 2008 | Author:

Is it just me or does the current state of neuroscience seem completely reliant on severe brain injuries?

At least this is the impression left by Oliver Sacks (a famous neurologist).

The man seems to be the ringmaster of a freak show of three stooges-like victims of violence done to the head. He’s seems to be the goto guy whenever you need to find a man with a violent brain injury.

Three Stooges

Three Stooges

Don’t get me wrong. I like Oliver Sacks. I find the man completely charming. He’s got a delightful nasally British Elmer Fudd/Bawaba Walters style of speaking (which you can hear inbetween his heavy mouth-breathing) describing beautifully horribly mangled minds in an interesting way. He can quote Proust!

I can understand why brain malfunctions help neurologists figure out the functions of the brain.

But I can’t help thinking that his study of neurology involves just sitting around waiting for the next guy to have herpes eat his brains so he can study him.

That maybe… it would be more effective to further the study of neurology by going around slamming nails into people’s skulls rather than sitting around waiting for the next guy to get his brain electrocuted by lightening.

This proactive, go-getting, Ensure-drinking neurologist decides to take action instead of idly waiting by the telephone!

“The Mad Neurologist” they’d call him. Please consider this character for your next Halloween costume or horror novel.

I do hope, that neuroscience will get up to a point where we don’t have to wait around for the next guy to shove crayons up his nose into his brain.

Here’s where you can hear Oliver Sacks (and his mouth breathing):

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=10115666

Or hear him on RadioLab (where they have fantastic editing to remove the mouth breathing):

Tuesday, October 14th, 2008 | Author:

Drawn in High School.
Again.. very much influenced by The Far Side.

If you’ve got a keen eye, you should be able to spot Waldo.

Category: Drawings, Works  | Tags: , ,  | Leave a Comment
Thursday, October 09th, 2008 | Author:
Bob's Bird Farm

Drawn in High School.
Inspired by my pet bird.

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Tuesday, October 07th, 2008 | Author:
Oh My God! Carl! Don't Move! You've got a man on your back!

Drawn in high school.

Very much influenced by the Far Side.

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Monday, October 06th, 2008 | Author:

This may only apply to Southern California….

but I have a theory that on the end of a Saturday night after midnight (Sunday), if you are listening to the radio, you will hear at least one station play The Smith’s song “How Soon is Now” at least once before sunrise.

I believe this to be true because at this time of the night, its only people who have not found someone to love them who are listening to the radio.

That their night went something like:

There’s a club if you’d like to go
you could meet somebody who really loves you
so you go, and you stand on your own
and you leave on your own
and you go home, and you cry
and you want to die

Alone….again….. driving home on the freeway to cry and want to die.

The song feels good on the late night freeway… mostly desolate and shrouded in weird orange lights with the wailing vibrating guitar sounding like a passing car…. Like time zooming past you ….reminding you that you will probably die alone.

I am human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does.

Monday, October 06th, 2008 | Author:
Monkey Robots

Monkey Robots

Category: Drawings  | Tags: , , , ,  | Leave a Comment