At my previous job there was this lovely receptionist who would deliver a truly pleasant morning greeting accented by a tilt of the head to the right. With a sing-songy adorable chipperness, she’d say “good morning!” and end with a delightful smile after the tilt.
Even if it was a miserable morning — one of those half awake filled with angry grumbling regarding the bitter end to a wonderful weekend — her simple good morning could brighten my spirits and set the tone for the rest of the day. This general warm buttered toasty morning feeling would infectiously spread to others. Even the most hardened bitter anti-morning person would have his heart melted by her sincerity in the greeting. She would do this for the hundreds of people that walked into the building and I wondered how she managed to do this every day without having her head tilt completely off her neck.

This is not what I get at my current job.

This bald headed ass greeter…
No tilt of the head. No pleasantness. Just a cold hearted thud of “good” morning.

But one day, I’m walking behind a middle aged woman and suddenly baldo says with a cheerful aplomb “gooood mooorning!”
then he directs his greet to me…
a curt and dead “goodmring”

this gave me pause but I didn’t think too much about it.
But then I started to notice this consistently would occur if ever I walked in with a woman in front of me.

That’s when I realize that shinyhead might not be an equal opportunity greeter.
I started suspecting that potatohead is either a sexist, racist or just doesn’t like me in particular.
I started purposely trying to speed or slow my walking speed to time it just right so that when we pass in front of El Baldo I could see how he greeted the other person and compare it to how he does it for me.

One time, I noticed a middle age white male with a bluetooth headset stuck in his ear and his lunch pale being dragged behind him on wheels like luggage.
this guy from just outward appearance should be a douche. C’mon! Look at him!
I sped my walk.
Sure enough… he got an enthusiastic warm onion bagel “good morning” and I got a moldy english muffin for breakfast.

I would think that since he’s already in the giving of a pleasant greeting, that this would affect his next greeting and I would be able to catch some pleasantness from this rising tide lifting all boats.
But no.

So the fact he treated a man with a delicious morning greeting suggests that maybe he’s not sexist. So maybe he’s a racist…

I’m not completely sure on this one. I need to speed my walk behind some more minorities before I can know for sure.

There is the other possibility. Maybe he just doesn’t like me…
but he doesn’t even know me! We’ve never talked!

So I figure… maybe if I change my demeanour when I respond with my “good morning.” I will make a heartfelt attempt to cheerfully respond to his dead morning greeting with a pleasant good morning.
Maybe I could drop whatever vinegar I’m producing and honey him into liking me.

So far no nothing.

One day…

one day…

I’m just gonna explode on him. Dramatically point at his bald head and accuse him of his sexist, racist greetings.
Then start laying punches into his bald head and screaming,”GOOD MORNING, motherfucker! GOOD MORNING! GOOD MORNING!! GOOD MORNING!!! GOOD MORNING!!!!!!!!”

…so much power in two words.