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Thursday, December 24th, 2009 | Author:

These are some games that I play when no one is looking:

  • Pretending someone is chasing you and you have to open your car door/front door with a key quickly
  • squishing people’s heads with my fingers or exploding their heads with my mind.
  • Practicing my ninja skills in a public bathroom. Sitting in a stall doing number 2 when someone else walks into the bathroom. I see if I can remain extra quiet so that he does not notice there is someone else in the bathroom with him.
  • Creating entire backstories to random strangers I see walking on the street. Imagining the dialogue of strangers talking to each other.
  • Imagining parts of the carpet are made of lava.
  • Pretending I have control over a rain droplet as it forms on a window and then slowly slides down collecting other rain droplets along the way down, becoming bigger and faster until it slides off.
  • that a Broadway musical number requires that I feather dust, vacuum and scrub toilets while I am feather dusting, vacuuming and scrubbing toilets.
  • making a dead shrimp carcass talk and do bad impressions of W.C. Fields as it tries desperately to charm a salt shaker.
  • Pretending that my shadow is actually doing that to you (instead of just doing that to your shad0w).
  • Pretending an eraser can erase more than just things on paper.
  • that my two fingers (index and middle) are the legs of a tiny man who can walk and jump on top of cars in parking lots and slide down the car hoods.
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