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Saturday, December 06th, 2008 | Author:

Awwww! Look at the cute little ducks in love.

ducks in love

Photo by estrusia_uk(limited time online) (who in no way endorses my ideas) used under the Creative Commons License


Wookit the adorable widdle duckwing!

widdle duckling

Photo by Limbo Poet (who in no way endorses my ideas) used under the Creative Commons License

Lookit all the lovable Rubber Duckies!

rubber ducks

Photo by Gaetan Lee (who in no way endorses my ideas) used under the Creative Commons License

Bath time is lots of fun now!

WELL YOU KNOW WHAT..

What Ernie doesn’t know is that duck in the tub is a rapist.
(Pssst…don’t tell Bert that Ernie’s in a tub with a rapist!)

Ducks are Rapists.

Photo by Keith Marshall (who in no way endorses my ideas) used under the Creative Commons License

Don’t believe me?
Here’s video of a female duck being raped:

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Please notice that after they’re done, they just leave the female out there….Like a Christmas tree. So special. Tinsel still clinging to it.
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Two videos not enough? How about an entire playlist (78 videos at time of writing).

We humans have many stereotypes about animals that affect our judgment when dealing with them and this has got to stop now!

These stereotypes are misleading and do not truly characterize the nature of animals.

Recently, these stereotypes are not only applied to ducks but other creatures as well.

In the land of China, they have adopted the Panda as their Nation’s animal ( ironic that a nation of a billion people likes an animal that is such a failure at procreation). Over centuries of panda stories, dolls, cartoons in the media have led to the development of stereotypes that make panda bear seem cute and huggable.

One 20 year old Chinese student could no longer control his unbelievable urge to hug a panda so he climbed over the fence at the zoo to hug one. The Panda attacked him biting his arms and legs.

And yet the impromptu poll of people who read this news article  of a vicious panda attack shows that over 70% of humans STILL harbor desires to hug a panda.

In a world where we can go beyond stereotypes to elect President Obama, it’s time that we get beyond animal stereotypes as well.

And we should start with the most heinously false stereotype there is: That ducks are cute.

Here’s something everyone needs to know:

DUCKS ARE RAPISTS.
Male ducks force sex onto female ducks!

Don’t be fooled by the media.
They are not wacky lovable screwballs.
They don’t hop around going Woo-Hoo Woo-Hoo.
They are not cute little waddling water fouls who make hilarious quacking sounds!

Daffy, Donald, Disco.. they all lied to you.
Disney’s Duck Tales
lied to you.
Not Duck Tales Woo Hoo. Duck Tales BOO hoo.

RAPISTS!!!
They have the longest penis in the world among vertebrates, which they use only for RAPE.

Now you know why Donald doesn’t wear any pants. Its just more convenient that way.

We need to ban together, get the word out on ducks and teach those rapists a lesson.
The next time you order some foise gras, savor it baby. Savor it.

In Today’s world, one blog post is not going to have any effect. In order to get the message out, you have got to use the Internet with the most immature response possible.
What you need is an Internet meme.

So here I go.. The next LOLcats.

DuckRAPE:

Note: all photos abused under the Creative Commons Attribution-noncommercial Share Alike License
which means you can further abuse them if you wish.

Remix of Original Photo by Lynn Colombe (who in no way endorses my ideas) used under the Creative Commons License

Remix of Original Photo by Brendan.Lally (who in no way endorses my ideas) used under the Creative Commons License

Remix of Original Photo by Gaetan Lee (who in no way endorses my ideas) used under the Creative Commons License

Remix of Original Photo by Limbo Poet (who in no way endorses my ideas) used under the Creative Commons License

Remix of Original Photo by estrusia_uk(limited time online) (who in no way endorses my ideas) used under the Creative Commons License

Remix of Original Photo by law_keven (who in no way endorses my ideas) used under the Creative Commons License

Photo by avlxyz (who in no way endorses my ideas) used under the Creative Commons License

Remix of Original Photo by avlxyz (who in no way endorses my ideas) used under the Creative Commons License

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